The day I took these pictures I couldn’t believe that the sky was able to take up such colours. It looked as if the sun had set the clouds on fire. Wonderful! I always have to think of Phoenix when I look at these. (Mind you, they’re are not photoshopped or anything like that. Only re-sized.)

Images. Wehertit

“I know there is no way I can convince you that this is not one of their tricks, but I don’t care. I am me. My name is Valerie. I don’t think I’ll live much longer and I wanted to tell somebody about my life. This is the only autobiography I will ever write and, God I am writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don’t remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tottle Brook and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my 11 plus and went to a girls’ grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sarah. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we’d love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that is was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Sarah did. I didn’t. In 2002 I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn’t have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn’t look at me. He told me to go away and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I had only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free.

I’d always known what I wanted to do with my life and in 2015 I starred in my first film, The Salt Flats. It was the most important role of my life. Not because of my career but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew Scarlet Carson’s for me in our window box and our place always smelt of roses. Those were the best years of my life. But America’s war grew worse and worse, and eventually came to London. After that, there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.

I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like “collateral” and “rendition” became frightening while things like “Norsefire” and the “Articles of Allegiance” became powerful. I remember how “different” became dangerous. I still don’t understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth, while she was out buying food. I’ve never cried so hard in my life. It wasn’t long till they came for me. It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place. But the three years, I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in this world worth having. We mus never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you and even though I will never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you or kiss you I love you. With all my heart I love you. Valerie.”

— Valerie’s Biography (from V for Vendetta)

If you’ve watched the film before you’ll know in what context this all is, but I thought I’d share this not so little quote with you anyways.

The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be. — Isaac Asimov ( best known for his works of science fiction and for his popular science books, Wikipedia)

In other words, there will be come changes around here. I am also going to get back to all your comments and emails these days. Thanks for the feedback :)

Images. Fakingfashion. Melodiesndesires. Unknown Runwaym

“If your hair is relaxed, people are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they’re not happy.“  – Paul Mooney (Comedian)

It seems like African women can wear any hairstyle they want, apart from their own hair. I’ve been thinking about writing this post for some time. Whether or not I should wake the sleeping dragon or open Pandora’s box. But when I saw Oprah, Chris Rock and Solange Knowles (sister of Beyoncé) talking about his new film entitled Good Hair I thought about the history of my own hair and the battles African women all over the world go through to have “good hair”. I also watched Tyra Banks show entitled “Good Hair” which was a direct response to Chris Rock’s film.

Now I know that a lot of my readers might not understand what I am talking about, since they’re not black. Someone who is not familiar with African hair might be thinking: What is all this about?  But I’ll try to start start at the beginning. A book called Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America by Ayana D. Byrd and Lori Tharps gets to the root of a problem that many people on this earth are not aware of, despite it’s historic and political importance. Throughout history hair has always been an important factor, even politically. Think of the kids of 1968/69 with their long untamed, natural hair, or the ladies of the Roaring Twenties who simply cut it all off and moved around proudly with their bobs. It all was a sign of freedom and independence, because most of the time it went against the customs of that time. Unlike those “hair revolutions” the hair of a black woman has been more of invisible shackles than freedom. Even if the book only refers to the United States what I’ve heard so far can be applied to the whole world. The black woman changed her hair from nappy to silky to fit in. To survive, get a job or simply to be able to be part of a society or community.

The media is not doing any better by producing role models for little (and older) girls. The success of an African woman somehow always seems to be linked to her silky, straight, shiny hair. When I was a little girl of five or six I used to watch the supermodels (particularly in George Micheal’s Too Funky which is still one of my faves) and loved every bit of Naomi Campbell working the catwalk. Deep down every little girl wants to be like the girls they see on TV or magazines, regardless of how good or bad it can be for them.

Solange, Beyoncé’s little sister decided to cut all her hair, after she grew tired of extensions. I particularly lover the contrast between the two.

Thinking about all this, I asked my mother what her opinion is on black hair a couple of weeks ago. Why we can’t wear it the way it grows. Like all other girls, whether they’re Asian or European or something else. The black woman is the only one struggling with her hair, trying to make it into something it will never be. Why is that? She told me point blank: “If your hair isn’t straight, you’re not going to archive your goals. Whether it is a simple job, record deal, you want to be in a movie or you’re an aspiring model.” Then she asked me: “Have you ever seen a black woman on the stage singing with the hair God gave her? And I mean famous ones, superstars.” And I thought about that for a moment. She was right. Apart from Erykah Badu and India.Arie there weren’t many out there rocking their natural hair. Fortunately there are some rising starts out there:

Shinigai Shoniwa ( The Noisettes ) & Janelle Monáe

There is a song by India.Arie which is entitled “I am Not My Hair”. In a nutshell all black women around the world (especially in the western world) carry around this weight with them every time they look in the mirror or go to get their hair done. Why is it like that?

Good hair means curls and waves/  Bad hair means you look like a slave/  At the turn of the century/  Its time for us to redefine who we be/  You can shave it off/  Like a South African beauty/  Or get in on lock/  Like Bob Marley/  You can rock it straight/  Like Oprah Winfrey/  If its not what’s on your head/  Its what’s underneath/

~

Regardless of all this I was particularly impressed by the amount of models of color on the runways this year. We all know that most things happens in the fashion industry happen because of money, still it is a nice development.

But I don’t want any of you out there to get my wrong. I don’t want all African women or women with African roots to all wear their natural hair from now on and keep their hands off relaxers or hair extensions. I just want people to be aware that beauty has different forms and all of them should be accepted equally. I also want women out there (particularly African women like me) to be happy with the beauty that was given them without loosing the freedom to change it into something else. And I am emphasising freedom.There is nothing worse than forcing yourself to fit in.

Images. Jourdan Dunn and Whitney Port (via thefashionspot). Unknown – sorry, I have no exact sources. In case any of the four last images belong to you let me know and I’ll link you (via tumblr)

Jourdan Dunn for Louis Vuitton

Whitney Port on the set of The City

Why can’t I have a dressing table like this?

First of all: Thanks for the lovely comments you’ve all been leaving. I really appreciate the feedback :)

My cold is gone, I am feeling much better, but in the mean time summer has moved on as well and the leaves are turning orange. The nights are getting colder and the sky is covered in clouds. Autumn is just around the corner and so is winter. To be honest I can’t wait for winter to come by this year. The smell of cinnamon and hot wine punch, the short days and long nights, the coziness and all that comes with this season.

At the moment I am craving to read Haruki Murakamis new work: IQ84. I’ll have to wait some time though, since it was released May this year in Japan and the date for it’s English publication hasn’t been set yet.  That on the other hand gives me time to indulge in works of his that I haven’t read yet: Dance Dance Dance, A Wild Sheep Chase or Underground (which I am very much looking forward to, as it is not fiction). For those for you who want to read his books, but don’t know where to start: Just start anywhere! I myself started with Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World. In my opinion a book that has the “typical Murakami style” combining surrealism with wonderful tales of characters and magical places, which I love a lot. If you want to start slowly I’d say Norwegian Wood is a nice starting point. The love story of Toru and Naoko is heartwarming sometimes even shocking, but never kitschy. Surrealism is merely hinted at in relation with death and in a wonderful way.  The film will be out by next year which I am very exited about.

Which brings me to the next topic: Desertflower by Waris Dirie is finally been brought to the movie theatres. I loved every bit of that book, which was so touching, inspiring and beautiful. Waris is a very powerful woman who has managed to archive more than a lot of people despite the long and hard way the had to go in her life. Maybe that’s the exact reason why she could go so far. Looking back on what she had survived, she knew exactly that nothing could hold her back when it came to pursuing her dreams. Can’t wait to see the movie with Lydia Kebede starring as Waris Dirie.

On to some Oyasumi Updates: Due to my flu, I haven’t been able to keep up with my time plan. At this point I am also going to admit that I overestimated myself a little and seemed to have forgotten how much I hate deadlines. Just  “dead” gives the word itself such a negative connotation and makes me shiver thinking back to earlier art projects in school. Completing work should be a positive thing to do. I don’t want to think of death each time I let my creative juices flow. Especially when I am working independently and only to make myself and others happy and not rich. So the new deadline is: there is no deadline. Or better: this Autumn. But don’t get me wrong. Not having a deadline doesn’t mean you’re going to do sloppy work and only work when you feel like. Not having a deadline takes pressure off my shoulders and enables me to satisfy not only myself, but others too. Sometimes you’ve got to rethink things and change them. It also means you have to accept you might have made a mistake earlier, but we all know: “A perosn who doesn’t make mistakes is unlikely to make anything.” (Paul Arden)